Depression is categorically, completely horrible. But, for the time that we have to suffer with it, why not think positively and see what it actually does for us in a positive way. I thought of 5 ways it, perhaps, enhances me;
1. I am more Aware
Before I developed depression I had no idea what it was all about, I had heard of it of course but I just used to think people were over reacting, like why couldn’t they just smile and be happy? I used to think it was just people being sad and so easy to escape. I now realise that is not just what it is and it is so hard to get out of. I have come to this shocking realisation and knowing more about the problem is a possible plus! I can now;
- Help others
- Notice signs
- Be able to talk to people in a similar situation
- Understand that you can not fully understand a person’s condition until you have been in their shoes
2. This makes me Less Judgmental
As I now have a deeper understanding of depression and the extensive amount of other conditions, illnesses and diseases, I do not judge people as much. I used to judge a lot:
- Make up – I used to judge people who didn’t wear it well. Now, I don’t wear make up any more and have realised how silly it all is. Who cares about a bit of paint that washes away in 12 hours time? If people wear it, I appreciate the art. If people don’t wear it, it couldn’t bother me less.
- Fashion – I used to read fashion magazines, work in a retail store and have a big ‘passion for fashion’. Now I am starting to appreciate peoples individualities, you don’t need to follow trends, you can wear whatever you want, just be comfortable in your style.
- Personalities – I used to be very confident and not even notice some people who were quieter. Now I notice everyone and I think about the quieter people more, it is sad how many interesting and shy or quiet friends I have missed out on.
- Think before Speaking – I now do this so much more. I am less brash. Where before I would say whatever I thought to anyone, I now think about how my words might effect someone. Other peoples words never used to bother me but now just a slight comment can swirl around in my head for weeks and get me really down. Because of this I am so careful not to say anything that could be over thought to anyone else.
3. I Think more Deeply
Although I was happy before when all that filled my head was some deep issues, I think it is a good thing to think more widely and deeply about some issues. I do have to be careful with this though as some things get me down if I think too much about them. But some new things I think about more deeply are;
- Feminism and Meninism
- Animal Rights
- Politically appropriate language
- Nature, the sky, plants and pretty parts of life!
4 I Write Better
When I am feeling sad, I write poetry to make me feel better and those poems are so much better than other ones I write when I feel okay. It is not a good thing that I only write well when I am sad but it is good that I have realised that if I am feeling some strong emotion I should write. I could use this in the future to write when I am feeling really happy, excited or some other positive emotion.
5. I Know Myself Better
This sounds very cliché and hipster but it is true. I know what I like and what I don’t like on a deeper level. I know the sort of people I need to be around when I feel certain emotions and I have a clearer idea in my head. I can also filter out any bullshit and measure people before instantly liking or disliking them, not a trait I had before. I now know:
- I love cross stitching!
- My body isn’t perfect but some people make me feel comfortable and like it doesn’t matter
- I do not have to tell everyone every tiny detail about myself
- I do not have to pretend to be tough, funny, like certain music, etc. I can just be myself and the people who like me for me will stick around and those who don’t won’t and that is not a problem
- My humour is not the same as everyone else so I don’t laugh if I don’t find things funny
So while I do hate depression, it has shaped and defined me in many ways, some of them being positive. So when you hate the thing inside you that makes you think in stupid ways just try and think about the positive things it does for you.