We all criticise ourselves too much. I am incredibly guilty of this. But how we perceive ourselves is completely incorrect and way too harsh. We all filter out the good things and focus solely on the non perfect areas which there is no point worrying about because there is nothing you can do.
In this video that the group therapy leader told us all to watch, Dove do an experiment to show that other people do not even notice the small things about ourselves that we obsess or get upset about. It is really inspiring and eye opening, watch this;
I decided to conduct my own small experiment with my family members including personalities rather than only appearances. To make it clearer I have separated the positive and negative comments into green and red to compare the differences, the non coloured text are neutral comments. Here is what they said:
- N about themselves: Short, fat, face is round, cheeks are fat with bags under their eyes. Hair is very short and going bald. Avoid looking in a mirror but can’t change the way they look so they are fairly happy with it anyway.
- R about N: Very knowledgeable, helps out a lot when others need help. Getting older and balder but like normal. Blue eyes, brown hair and a round head. Well presented and looks approachable and a good personality.
- E about N: Artistic, creative, stubborn but on the whole a happy person who cares about their family. Short with a beer belly but because of too much cider and nuts. Beautiful blue eyes and very strong. Roundish face, clean shaven, button nose. Very handsome and intelligent, his appearance doesn’t bother me.
- E about themselves: Beautiful and gorgeous! (Laughing) I am happy and like to have a laugh and a joke.Brown hair and eyes, quite short, getting chubby, swollen ankle, going grey. Round face, freckles, brown hair with grey, wrinkles, piercings, straightish teeth. My appearance doesn’t bother me anymore but it did so more when I was younger.
- R about E: Very beautiful, has a nice sense of humour and makes me laugh. Always dresses nice, brushes her teeth and doesn’t need to wear makeup. She has a very beautiful face with freckles, brown hair, brown eyes and very white teeth. Very nice, looks after herself.
- N about E: Pretty, happy, calm and collected. Roundish face with eyes curved slightly downwards, small nose, young looking and pretty. Her hair is light golden brown, shoulder length with a few bits of grey now and again. I think she always looks nice and tidy, she doesn’t wear much makeup but she doesn’t need to. She looks good.
Because they are family they obviously know each other better and have looked at each a million times before and even then they mostly pick out positives about other people and mentioned negative things about themselves. Lots of the negative points such as bags under eyes or a swollen ankle was not even picked up on buy the others describing them.
I think another important point that resonated about each person was that their appearance did not matter, they were either past the point of caring or realised that that is a part of them. They have learnt to embrace themselves instead of letting anything get them down.
The important things to remember here is that people view you more positively and you should not let things about yourself get you down as they are just a part of you. If everyone was the same it would be a very boring world. The differences between people are beautiful and you are beautiful.